This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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