Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
