girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
