And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
