The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize