just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Randomize
