He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
