The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
