there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
