I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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