You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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