I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
