How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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