'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
