This girl is more easily done than said...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Randomize
