dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
