He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just pee around me
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
