i just wanna soil my oats bro
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
