I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
