We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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