I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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