Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
