i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
