We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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