omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
