Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
