Its about making memories worth repressing
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
