Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
