I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm always down for nudity.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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