AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
4 words: hood of his car
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
