i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
