So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize