Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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