I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
