Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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