i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
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