imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
