I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
