dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
