There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
