so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
