You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I am mentally ready for anal.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
