We're facebook friends in real life
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
