What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
