he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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