just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
