They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
