i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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