I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
