It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
