dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
