Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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