would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
