a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
