No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
