We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
