wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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