this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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