Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Mom said you looked used
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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