So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
