I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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