Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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