Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Just pee around me
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
