So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Randomize