I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
