I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Randomize
