I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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