there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Randomize
