Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
