Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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